Absent Without Leave

In the same way, a husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself. A husband who loves his wife shows that he loves himself.

-- Ephesians 5:28

Employees call it playing hooky, taking a mental hygiene break or simply calling in sick. Their employers, however, call it absenteeism: those occasions when employees don’t show up at work because of illness, injury, scheduled time away or any other reason. But whatever you call it, absenteeism is costly. Studies from the Census Bureau and U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics say direct annual losses exceed $40 billion.

That’s an eye-opener. But human resources professionals actually face a problem with a much higher price tag. Presenteeism occurs when employees come to work when they’re sick or otherwise unable to perform to their usual standards. They’re technically on the job. But they really shouldn’t be. After all, sick employees can compound the issue by infecting their co-workers, customers and even clients. Annual loss estimates from presenteeism in the United States reach $250 billion!

These losses are astounding. But did you know there’s another type of presenteeism that’s even more devastating? It’s not an illness spread through a corporate office building or passed behind the counters of a fast food restaurant. Instead, it’s a common affliction found in homes across America that damages and destroys relationships and tempts families to turn away from God.

It’s a sin called passivity. Not to be confused with laziness, passivity often appears in men who come home from the office each day and use the TV, Internet or computer games to tune out their spouse and children. They’re at home. But they’re not really there when their loved ones need them the most.

It’s easy to see how this activity (or lack thereof) can corrode personal relationships. But to God, it’s even worse. That’s because He calls Christ-following men to lead their households, love their wives and raise their children in His holy ways.

Domestic passivity is hardly a benign problem. And make no mistake: the devil is behind it. Satan knows that he can take over the home if he can take out the husband. And when husbands abdicate their responsibilities and abandon their families, the lasting societal damage is enormous.

It’s a serious illness that calls for strong spiritual medicine. First, men must recognize their sin and repent of it. And then through prayer – preferably with their spouse – they must seek God’s forgiveness through Jesus and the strength to once again lead their households in His ways.

The Old Testament hero Joshua addressed the issue this way:

“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living, he told the Israelites. “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

Missing In Action

I will get up now and go about the city,

through its streets and squares;

I will search for the one my heart loves.

So I looked for him but did not find him.

-- Song of Songs 3:2

It’s probably safe to say that electricity – particularly electric lighting – is the one convenience that we most take for granted in 21st Century America. We simply flick a switch, and there it is… until a storm rumbles through town and plunges us back into utter darkness.


We can thank Thomas Edison for showing us the light. But contrary to popular belief, he didn’t invent the light bulb in 1879. What he did was discover an economical, long-lasting filament that made electric lighting practical.

And it wasn’t easy. The famous inventor tried literally thousands of different materials before he finally found one that wouldn’t burn out in seconds. Edison eventually solved the dilemma by placing a carbon filament in an airless bulb. And a few months later, he improved his design by using a bamboo-derived filament that could last more than 1,200 hours. The rest, as they say, is history.

Thomas Edison’s tireless quest for the perfect light bulb filament is much like our search for the perfect marriage. A man and a woman might seem to be compatible, share the same interests and have even dispositions. But if they’re missing certain vital elements (like Edison’s long-lasting filament and airless bulb), the relationship can burn out too soon… or fail to ignite at all.

So what are they? When it comes to God’s plan for marriage, those elements are a shared spiritual awareness and the concept of total exclusivity.

Maybe it’s a cliché. But the Christ-following husbands and wives who pray together really DO stay together. For them, their wedding vows weren’t just pleasant-sounding words repeated in a church sanctuary on some Saturday afternoon. “Until death do us part” meant just that. Plain and simple. And their life-long marriages reflect it.

Total exclusivity points to God’s desire that we never compare our spouse with another. And unfortunately, this is easier said done. We live in a society that worships celebrity – the “beautiful people” we follow on TV, the movies, gossip magazines and the Internet. We also fall for their Hollywood-produced, Photoshopped images of perfection. Their reality, however, may be much closer to the ravages of drugs, alcohol and abuse. But we prefer to accept only the illusions. And when our spouses can’t live up to them, disappointment grows. And our marriages suffer.

Is your marriage missing…something…but you’re not sure what? The first place for you and your spouse to find it is at the foot of the Cross – that quiet place where Jesus paid for your failures and mine. As the author of Hebrews reminds us:

“We must keep our eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete.”

In the Long Run

I am coming soon. So hold firmly to what you have, and no one will take away the crown that you will be given as your reward.

-- Revelation 3:11

Our faith journeys as Christ-followers are marathons, not sprints. But as with any expedition over winding roads and rugged terrain, weariness is bound to set in. Long distance runners call it The Wall. It’s the barrier of mental and physical fatigue that successful athletes train for years to overcome. If successful, they’ll reach the finish line with power left to spare. Others meanwhile will drop out of the race in defeat and exhaustion.

As Christ-followers, we face our own wall each day as we try to live up to God’s calling. We begin to tire as we battle against our natural tendencies to do what’s wrong (“sin”). Instead of following Jesus’ example of loving our neighbors, helping the disadvantaged and honoring God, we’re often tempted to go back to the old “Me First” lifestyle. It’s a real struggle: the selfish stuff we know we shouldn’t do versus the ultimately world-changing things we can and should do. And as with any ongoing struggle, fatigue eventually overcomes us.

Of course, giving up is never a viable option. We read in John’s Gospel that because of Jesus’ disheartening words, many of his followers began to turn their backs on Him and head home. Christ then asked his 12 disciples if they were also going to leave him. To this Simon Peter replied, "Lord, there is no one else that we can go to! Your words give eternal life.”

So what can we do when we hit our spiritual wall? First, we should lighten our load by shedding the excess possessions and unnecessary distractions that hold us back. For instance, do any of us really need the burden of more credit card debt when we probably have more than we need of just about everything? And like successful marathoners, we must always keep our eyes on the finish line. Yes, there are plenty of hills and rough road ahead. But every step we take gets us closer to victory!

Finally – and most importantly – we must always pray for strength. And we get this much-needed vitality through the Holy Spirit: the Power that all Christ-followers receive when they ask Jesus to be their Lord and Savior. The Holy Spirit is literally God residing in every Believer. It’s that Force that enables us to do or say the things we never could before, overcome seemingly insurmountable odds and generally do the impossible. In fact, the Bible tells us it’s the same Power that raised Jesus from the dead that first Easter morning. And it’s our Power to keep on the journey.

James, the step brother of Jesus, gives us these words of encouragement:

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Do you have the power you need to make it to the finish line in this long distance race called life? You can persevere. And all you have to do is ask.

Pride and Prejudice

Our foolish pride comes from this world, and so do our selfish desires and our desire to have everything we see. None of this comes from the Father.

-- 1 John 2:16

Are you one of those do-it-yourselfers?

You know – one of those folks who can do it all without help from the experts. Whether it’s fixing a leaky faucet, changing your car’s oil or installing hardwood flooring, no professionals are needed – or even wanted on your job site!

There’s definitely a certain pride factor involved when you do it yourself and do it right. Who can deny the satisfaction from viewing a shiny polished car, a lush manicured lawn or a tiled kitchen backsplash? And that goes double when you put hours of hard work into your efforts. Yes, you should be proud.

Or should you?

Maybe taking pride in a job well done is OK to a point. But as Christ-followers, we need to understand that pride is actually one of those lures that can hurt us badly if we don’t watch out.

At pride’s root is our love of the world’s values rather than our devotion to God. And pride also happens to be a disease with some nasty side effects. One symptom is far-sightedness: we tend to see pride in others but not in ourselves. Our heads then grow and our minds shrink. And eventually, we reach the point where we actually think we’re strong and smart enough to do it all; all while forgetting that God is the only true power and source of our successes. We become arrogant, vain, stubborn and defensive. And we may even develop a strange sense of satisfaction when others – often our closest friends – face difficulties or tragedies in their lives.

These painful symptoms can last for days or even years. But we’ll eventually reach the point when God lets us crumble and fall flat after some unforeseen situation or circumstance. It’s called the pride before the fall. And it’s only when we’re struggling helplessly in the debris that we finally regain our senses and return to Him.

Like the common cold, we’re all bound to catch the pride bug every once in a while. But what’s the best way to battle this infectious disease once it’s set in? First, it’s not about adopting an artificially low self-esteem or a terminal woe-is-me attitude. Instead, it’s all about replacing deceptive self-confidence with reliable Christ-confidence. Our best strategy is to always put God first in our lives and remember that we can do nothing without Him. Always give the Lord all credit for your blessings and successes. Help others through their struggles. And then remember that God chooses and uses humble people to do great things in the world.

The Bible sums it up with some solid advice: "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up."

Tongue Tied

The tongue is like a spark. It is an evil power that dirties the rest of the body and sets a person's entire life on fire with flames that come from hell itself.

-- James 3:6

Did the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 start—as the legend says—when Mrs. O’Leary’s cow kicked over a lantern? Or did it begin when a one-legged man slipped on Mrs. O’Leary’s wet barn floor and dropped his lit pipe into some hay or wood shavings?

Except to history buffs and insurance agents, the answer doesn’t matter. But the aftermath – whatever its cause – was indeed horrific: nearly $200 million in property damage, 300 people dead and another 100,000 homeless. And all it took was a single spark.

James—the half-brother of Jesus—taught much the same lesson in his New Testament book written to some of the earliest Christ-followers. But instead of the destruction wrought from a tiny flame, James described the incredible power of the human tongue. Although it’s only a small part of the human body, our tongues have the power to change lives: to uplift and destroy, and to bless and curse.

We know this all too well through our life experiences. How many times have we uttered something inappropriate—or maybe downright mean-spirited—that seemed to come out of nowhere? Saying the wrong thing at the wrong moment to the wrong person has cost people their careers, marriages and reputations. And the sad fact is that our words reveal what we really think deep down inside. They’re a reflection of our heart.

Not only can our poison tongues inflict damage at any time, the damage can take several different forms. Whether it’s through gossip, lying, sarcasm, cursing or taking God’s name in vain, we don’t lack for words we wish we could take back.

Back in World War II, the U.S. Government printed posters with the headline, “Loose Lips Sink Ships.” The message was that spies can pick up careless—although seemingly innocent—gossip about Allied troop movements, ship launches and other secret information. And when such information reaches the enemy’s ears, the result is often carnage, death and destruction. Likewise, all Christ-followers must watch their tongues to avoid causing needless, irreparable damage to relationships and reputations. Our words should instead lift up rather than put down. The Apostle Paul put it this way:

“When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you.”

Seeing is Believing

But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.

-- James 2:18

Ever had a home or office computer infected by a virus, worm or malware? If so, you know that helpless feeling when your machine crashes, freezes or slows to a maddening crawl. And soon enough, that once top-of-the-line PC becomes nothing more than an expensive plastic paperweight.

But don’t give up hope quite yet. There’s powerful software from reputable companies that not only cleans out such infections, it helps prevent future problems by fixing unrelated computer performance issues like defragmentation and registry errors. What was once a dead or crippled computer can actually become better than new. The before-and-after is often remarkable. And that precious $79.99 spent on the anti-virus software looks like a bargain in retrospect.

Every Christ-follower for the last 2,000 years can recognize this modern day cyber-illustration. Like a crippled machine made whole again, Christ-followers become born again once they accept Jesus Christ through faith as their Lord and Savior. We start over at that point with a clean slate with God – now ready to do good works to advance His kingdom. Think about it: everything we’ve done wrong throughout our lives – none of it will be held against us after we leave this life on earth! All the pitiful ways we’ve treated others, the lies we’ve told and the potential we’ve wasted over the years; it’s all forgiven because Jesus paid the price and died for us on the cross.

So we’re now free and have an incredible future with God because of our faith in Christ. But this is much more than a simple intellectual exercise. Instead, authentic, faith-filled Christ-followers must demonstrate tangible changes in who they are, what they think… and especially what they do.

James, the half-brother of Jesus, provides this spot-on illustration:

What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

Of course, we’re not saved from the punishment we deserve because of any good deeds (“works”) we might do. If that were the case, it would be possible to earn our way to God’s acceptance. The fact is that our feeble efforts and good intentions are never enough; there’s nothing we can do except follow God’s plan of salvation and accept His free gift of freedom through Jesus Christ.

Rather than being saved BY our own good works, our faith leads us to being saved FOR doing good works. Christ-followers are therefore to be Jesus’ mouth, eyes, hands and feet in our community and around the world – and all to demonstrate God’s power to change lives and put His love in action.

Truth or Consequences

We have a chief priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses. He was tempted in every way that we are, but he didn’t sin.

-- Hebrews 4:15

It sounds like something found deep in the jungles of Africa, the Amazon rainforest or maybe even on another planet. It’s a carnivorous plant called the Venus fly trap that’s found only in the bogs of North and South Carolina near Wilmington.

Maybe carnivorous is a bit misleading; Venus fly traps don’t catch and feed on squirrels or small rodents. But they do feast on flies and other insects. This remarkable plant’s secret lies in its attractive colors and outstretched, nectar-scented pads. When an unsuspecting insect lands on the plant, sensors ready its trap to shut. But by intelligent design, this takes more than a single motion. It’s only after a second sensor activates that the Venus fly trap snares its winged victim within 0.1 seconds! (The plant’s double sensor mechanism helps prevent accidental activations from wind, raindrops or fallen leaves.) Powerful fluids then fill the sprung trap, which dissolve the prey into usable nutrients within about 10 days. The cycle later resumes with the Venus fly trap re-opening its pads to repeat the lethal deception.

Everyone – including Christ-followers – can learn one or two things from the Venus fly trap. But maybe it’s really more about learning from the hapless fly.

God seeks to grow and strengthen our spiritual lives by putting us through trials and tests to make us more like Him. On the other hand, it’s the devil who seeks to destroy our spirit by tempting us to sin against God and His will for us. The devil begins his attack by latching onto our natural desires and weaknesses. We then begin to minimize the temptation’s risks while devising intricate plans for yielding to the enticement. Unfortunately, it’s often too late by this point. Like a cancer, that seemingly innocent temptation has metastasized into outright disobedience to God. And the trap is sprung, leading to the dire consequences of spiritual – or even physical – death.

No stranger to temptation and sin, the apostle Peter warned the early followers of Jesus about the dangers that stalked them.

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour,” he wrote in 1 Peter. “Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”

The fact is that temptations are part of the human experience. And like the Venus fly trap, they’re incredibly appealing with little hint of danger. So to resist them successfully, we need to understand their source – the devil – the one called the father of lies. We must also visualize the consequences of our contemplated actions. And then there’s the most important step of all:

“Surrender to God!” urges James, the brother of Jesus. “Resist the devil, and he will run from you.”